For me, it all started in February when we found out I was pregnant. I know, a joyous occasion for most people - and for us as well - but deep down, if I'm being perfectly honest, part of me was feeling a large portion of fear mixed in. For someone who likes control of her body, eating habits, exercise rhythms, and sleep patterns, finding out you won't have control over any of that for the next 9 months (and beyond!) is a pretty scary proposition. I've never been one to worry too much about change, but lack of control, that is terrifying.
Before becoming pregnant, I never understood why those who were, had to comment on it tirelessly. Every blog post from my favorite food blogger turned into pregnancy or baby commentary, coworkers who were expecting brought it up on a daily basis, and of course friends and family journeying down that road had a knack for keeping the entire Facebook world informed. But now I get it. When you're pregnant (or at least for me) it is all-consuming; there isn't a single part of me that doesn't feel fundamentally different. Maybe it's because I'm so sensitive or in-tune to my body, but it definitely causes me to pause and fully take in this life-changing experience.
|Evan's pretty in-tune to his body too.|
|The swelling begins ...|
|Pain level 8-10 at this point!|
|Although I did manage to get out of helping with this sticky nursery-prep situation. Maybe not a bad thing!|
(note: the walls are not nearly this harsh a yellow and the leaning tower is now appropriately assembled inside the closet)
In order to stay in the half-glass-full club I'm trying to see the positives here. And really, overcoming my fear of needles has got to be one of the biggest challenges - and dare I say opportunities - I've ever been given. To know that within the next ten weeks I will become so accustomed to the routine of shot giving that it will become second nature, helps me want to do it again every day. Every time, I'm one step closer to overcoming that fear. So far it has gone pretty well and the nurse even complimented me on my steady hand. Who knows, maybe I'll switch professions yet! ; )
Of course there are other benefits to this entire ordeal, and for the sake of remaining upbeat, I will list them here:
- We were actually scheduled to tour the Birth Center of the hospital the night we were there - I guess we opted for the behind-the-scenes tour instead! Our hospital "trial run" will help me pack my hospital bag: I now know to bring a sweatshirt to supplement the poor hospital pillows, ear plugs and an eye mask.
- People make you food. Evan's mom is driving up tomorrow with some quiche, calico beans, bran muffins and peanut butter cookies. Needless to say I am quite excited. Evan has filled the fridge with fruit, yogurt, and a hot dish I've been enjoying every day. Lesson learned: when someone hurts, bring them food. Treats, baked goods, leftovers - whatever! No need to ask, just do it : )
|Evan knows how to make me feel better: he brought me kale broccoli salad!|
- I gained perspective: Last time I was in the hospital I was experiencing very unnatural pain - next time I will also be in pain but it will be natural and serve a very clear purpose.
- Now that part of my blood clot area is starting to clear I'm surprised at how much of my stomach pains I've had the past few months and assumed were just pregnancy symptoms are also clearing. After this, pregnancy will be easy! I don't know that much about blood clots but I suspect this one was a long time in the making.
|And apparently Germans get pregnant too, although we didn't see a single one during our visit in June!|
- We discovered that a hospital stay is not completely unlike riding first class (what?!). Of course there are no IVs on an airplane along with a zillion other differences, but we couldn't help but chuckle when we noticed that in both situations you have a bedside service/call button, you often slide down on the slippery inclined bed, and you're constantly woken up or stuck waiting for someone to tend to the next task, whether that be delivering a warm washcloth (happens in both situations), checking your vitals, or spreading a fancy napkin and silverware before you for your five course meal (I'll let you guess on those last two).
- I realized, yet again, that I chose well. I have the best in-home nurse in the world: Evan! He's definitely gone above and beyond in taking care of my physical and emotional needs and has proved already that he's going to make a great dad.
Ten more weeks and counting!